THE WAY YOU LOVE ME
By ANONYMOUS
your best friend is the straightest boy I have met and he looks like a hungry crow when he talks about women but he never talks about women when around you// is there a reason for that
I catch you staring at me again your mouth slightly open like you want me to catch you// why do you wait to look away once I catch you
you invited me to the gym and I swear the only reason I go to the gym is because you invited me/
I gave you less attention when you would talk about her// you talk about her less now, is there a reason for that
and I swear I saw you looking at me again like last night and the night before and I know you caught me looking at you // but she loves you, doesn't she
you were saying before your best friend walked in “I remember the frst time we met, and” // do you know how often I think about what you wanted to say
/my arms are scrawny like spindled twigs are you trying to recreate me as a man in your image// if you can touch yourself, would that make this easier for you
“where are you” I was asleep and saw it in the morning// I would’ve ran to you do you know that
I meditate on the way the ceiling moves above your head then darkness face on covers you become a thunderstorm I can’t let anyone hear// identity-formation forms a cardboard cut-out caught in the rain
I want you to eat my queerness like a philly cheese steak sandwich// I want you to sip masculinity from my scrawny straw arms// you want to break my body into wood planks to build a walk-in closet comfortable enough to settle
I wonder if you think about her or me when you walk home at night because every gay narrative I have seen ends with somebody alone and I’ve never felt so expendable// you love her, don't you